She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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