i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We are all done wearing pants today
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
