I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
