Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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