when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
