Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
