I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
