I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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