hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
