I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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