so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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