Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize