I wish I could teleport
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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