If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize