I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
