i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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