i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
