My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
