You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
smell my finger.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
