I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
