Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
