there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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