This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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