You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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