Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
