We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
