you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
