i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
