No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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