Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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