my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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