Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
