just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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