mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She said her name was "party"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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