I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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