You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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