I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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