It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
