Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The Olympian is in my bed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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