sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
