I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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