Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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