No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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