I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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