Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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