STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
