You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
