The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
