I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
