I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
