Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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