smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
