Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
