I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
