The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
