Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
