i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
