When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
