just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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