I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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