I should be sponsored by Trojan
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
